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The Power Of One....Chris Janson

During our first pastorate in Perryville, Missouri, we had so many great experiences. One of those experiences was meeting a young man at t...

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Today is the first day of the rest of your life. It is new with no mistakes in it., full of GRACE!

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Friday, January 31, 2014

The Importance of Dating Your Spouse



Remember when you first met your mate? Remember your first date and all the dates after that? We have so many great memories that its hard to pick just one. After your married, because of lifes choices of what to focus on, often times couples replace the dating and the romance with work and children. It's an easy pattern to get into.
Dating your mate should never stop. The effort on both sides when you were single to win should not stop. But often times couples become lazy and plain selfish. Romance is a big part of a healthy marriage.
Here are some ways to date your mate:



are some tips to get you started in thinking about how to date your mate...
  1. Set aside time to be together and PRIORITZE it! Some couples have a date night each week that is a standing appointment. It is on the calendar and it takes something pretty HUGE to move it. If once a week sounds too hard to fit in- start with once a month but get it on your calendars.
  2. Anticipate the time together- Leave your mate a note on the bathroom mirror or send a quick email to say you're looking forward to being together.
  3. Set Boundaries-Keep "business talk" out of the date- don't talk about bills or money. That is a real mood killer.
    1. Keep your date a "gripe free zone"- don't talk about household duties or complaints that come across as nagging or negative.
    2. Limit the "kid convo"- this is for those of you who have kids. It is hard to not talk about the little people who consume most of your time, attention, money and FOOD. It is important to remember that you existed as a couple before kids came along and you will still be a couple after they have left the nest. Work on continuing to grow and bond as a couple through ALL the seasons of life.
  4. Get Creative-A fun date doesn't have to break the bank or take enormous pre-planning. New ideas will continue to be added so remember to check back. We would love to hear your date night ideas.
~ Try Jackson ~
The popular thing to do is "knock" the town in which you live, but don't knock Jackson until you try it. There is so much to do in and around Jackson county.
Other date ideas:

For BeginnersGo for a walk (holding hands)...
  1. Start with your neighborhood. Fresh air and exercise can give you a new perspective.
  2. Try a walk around beautiful Cascades Park.
  3. Window shop at Jackson Crossing (it's good for all ages -- from strollers to walkers).
  4. Enjoy nature at the Falling Waters Trail, which goes from Concord to Jackson.
  5. There are many businesses and happenings dowtown -- take a stroll and check them out.
  6. Just go for coffee and dessert and savor the flavor of time together.
  7. Try an afternoon matinee (they are cheaper, less crowded, and extra cozy)
  8. Explore Ella Sharp park trails.
  9. Check out the local art scene -- it can spark conversation and romantic feelings.
           For IntermediateIf you're willing to put a little more time and thought into dating your mate...
  1. Put the kids to bed early and have an indoor picnic together
  2. Surprise your mate with a "guess where we are going date?" Then,
  3. Do a road rally of fast food restaurants. Drive through and order one of your favorite items from each place. Then take the food and eat under the stars (airport viewing spot, Cascades, any local lake)
  4. Warm up together after ice cream and ice skating.
  5. Go for a drive around Jackson County and gather ideas for your dream home.
         For AdvancedFor bigger budgets, more time or special occasions...
  1. Stay overnight at a local bed and breakfast. You don't have to go too far away to get away.
  2. Make reservations and have flowers delivered during dinner.
  3. Hire a limo driver for the evening, so you can just concentrate on each other.
  4. Send a special invitation to your date at work, tell him/her when/where to meet you.
 Published by Marriage Matters.com

As pastors there are a lot of young marriages we are setting examples for. That comes with leadership. Anthony and I have always tried to make time to date. Its been great way to connect.