Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Friday, March 27, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear can be a big stopper for many of us. Relax! Our best is good enough. It may be better than we think. Even our failures turn out to be important. Existing is easy. Feel the fear let it go. Jump in and do it.
Letting Go Of Guilt:
There's a good trick that a person who lives in dysfunctional relationships use'" The other person does something inappropriate or wrong then stands there until you feel guilty and end up saying sorry. A lot of time the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person acts inappropirate and violates our boundaries. We challenge their behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty. Guilt can stop us from taking good care of ourselves. We don't have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt.-earned or unearned. We are not at fault, crazy or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries.
The goal of recovery is balance. The precious middle ground. Many of us have gone to the extreme on one side or the other. Years of taking care of everyone but ourselves.We may have spent years refusing to feel, identify,and deal with our feelings.We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationship with others. All from the Book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
by Karl Vaters
I have to say I just read one of the most interesting books on small church and large church. I loved it! I totally agree. Not all pastors are called to build a large church. Anthony and I worked on staff with a church that ran around 2400 when we were there at the time. Please allow me to say this from my point of view without judgement. It was a monster that consumed that pastor and his wife. I often felt sorry for them. I know they had to pastor Ranch style, so it was quite an eye opening experience coming from much smaller church experience.They were called to it and loved it! However, I am not sure if that is what we are even called to do. But that does not make them better than us. We walk in our callings and produce the talents given to us to multiply. We are responsible to that! Good and faithful servants. As an ARC plant there are many of the pastors that have had huge churches success over night. However, not every one did using that method. Smaller communities do not respond in that way. It takes some smaller towns longevity to get into an area for good healthy growth. Really it is not all about numbers it is about the Health and truly understanding the calling where God has you.
"I propose that the following about the new small church.
We are not stuck
We are not failing
We are not incompetent
We are not limited in our vision
We do not need to be fixed
We are not less then....
We are God's idea
We are small" from The Grasshopper Myth by Karl Vaters
I highly recommend this book for all pastors. We can learn from each other.
Monday, March 23, 2015
My STORY is not much different then many other girls big, small, young or old that encounter bullies. However, I have seem to have had my share of them both in school and in church. Yes, there are mean girls in church! Mine started with our pastors daughter who made it her mission to try to provoke me or be as mean as she could on every turn. She was bent on trying to hurt me at every opportunity she could find. She would pull all the kids together and run and hide from me as a child. I was always the target of her childhood games.
This progressed to whispering and looking at me with all the other girls on one side while I was on the other. There were times I wanted to just be her friend but for what ever reason she had it in for me. It never stopped! It progressed to where she would find out what boy I liked and tell everyone and then make a big show about how she could take any boy I liked. It was a game to her. But what she didn't know was I only had one major crush in my teenage life time and she was gone by the time I met him. You would think that a deacon's daughter would know better let alone a pastor's daughter!
She would start or carry on rumors about me that were absolutely not true! While she lead the church youth group to the back row of the church. I remained on the front. It actually made me closer to God and stronger for him as I began my calling. I don't know maybe its true once a bully always a bully without God's Grace.
Years later( my Sophomore year) we moved to an amazing church with a lot of friends. I loved it! It was away from being bullied. Or so I thought. You see, bullies are everywhere! You will have to face them in many times throughout your life. And just because it's church does not mean it stops. Sad to say but some of the same things that happen in circle of high school friends often times happen in church just in different sneaky ways. Although I have forgiven her as a teenager, I have never received an apology for any of her childhood tortures she afflicted on me service after church service.
I soon met my knew bully. She was not the mean kind that spread rumors or that run away from you with a group of other girls. She was the front row worshiper. She was the pretty, popular girl that everyone liked. But what they did not know or what they could not see was that She made sure at every opportunity she had to let me know how much better she was than me. I was simply trying to be the best me I could be. I was running in my own lane and honestly in my heart of hearts I didn't care about her lane. How pretty she was and how that I didn't have a chance with her brother because I was not good enough. At every turn I could see her manipulating. Time after time we would be together she would tell me how he would have a crush on this girl( her best friend) I didn't even ask or let any one know I even liked the guy. I do not know if she was afraid that we would get together or what, but she could not leave it alone. So by then I really didn't care I stayed clean away from him. I remember one Sunday, for what ever reason she was taking me home in her car. I will never forget it. I said to her" you know it would be really great if you and I could be friends, trying find common Christ like ground with her. She told me that I was not good enough to be in her circle of friends and that I needed to stay where I was. None of that made any sense to me because I wanted to be friends with everyone. But it was like she had to be in some elite group that only she could be part of. There was not enough room for me. She is the only one who could succeed.So with her syrupy sweet smile and pretty face she would diss me, brag, show off whenever she had a chance. But REALLY by then I did not even care it just became annoying.
You see when you come to Christ it is an
even playing ground!
There are no favorites with God in his Kingdom. Man has man made clubs and groups with favorites for all to see.This is what amazes me, God's love and resources are to all those who are saved. There is no elite groups! We are all a part of the body of Christ if you truly have been saved. He has amazing dreams for each and every one of us, not for just a select group. I have seen time and time again that if the bully does not get it under the blood. They will have a rude awakening with God. Their life will not be what he has planned for them, his absolute best.
1. THE MEAN GIRL NEVER WINS IN THE END.
2. FORGET THE PILE MENTALITY.
3. LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE.
4. USE YOUR WORDS WELL.
5. BE BRAVE.
"The Urban Dictionary defines “Mean Girls” as girls who are bullies and use “girl aggression” (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls."
Of course life has a way of growing us all up. But the fact remains. There is and always will be bullies even in adult years. They are at your work, at your homes, yes again even in your churches. You have a choice! Is this the seed I want to sew. Or am I going to let this soften me and learn from it. Be the better person. Allow God to use this for HIS advantage.
Mean church girl.....You are sewing some very bad seed in your life that will come back to you in a form of a harvest your not going like if you do not get it right!
"Some paths we suddenly find ourselves walking are overwhelming and shake us to our very core. There is nothing we or anyone else can do to make it go away and we feel frightened, alone and powerless.
But even then, in our darkest, most alone, moment there is a glimmer of light and somehow we keep moving. And the truth is that each one of us has faced or will face devastating loses and heartbreak when we wonder how will we ever go on. But we do the best we can, one small step, one tiny step at a time and we focus on that light and even though we may be shaking, we hold steady. And then one day, months, maybe even years later we realize that it was actually the "getting through" part that deepened us and gave us the capacity to be that glimmer of hope and light for others. And the circle it goes round and round".
Resource: Please check all of these sites out. They are full of help.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
You are the invitation and the mood setter! Light a thousand candles! Just be with your love. He is not the pastor, the minister, the business man, the prophet, the organizer, the problem solver HE IS YOUR LOVE!