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The Power Of One....Chris Janson

During our first pastorate in Perryville, Missouri, we had so many great experiences. One of those experiences was meeting a young man at t...

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Monday, June 15, 2015

Toxic People

Is being around toxic people making you sick?
Steps in being able to spot toxic people.




http://smallbiztrends.com/2014/08/how-to-break-away-from-toxic-people.html

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/15-ways-to-spot-a-toxic-person/#.VX7xJXQo7qA

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/03/15/you-deplete-me-10-steps-to-end-a-toxic-relationship/

I just got finished sitting with a pastors wife who told me about all people in her life who were depleting her. This is in reference to what we talked about. Not about her. It just explains a pattern I have been seeing in a lot of people in the ministry.
(corrections....I wrote this from a tiny phone, and now that I have a bigger screen...wow)
Tired of selfish absorbed,controlling, negative people in your life? It's like you have to breath pollution when they come your way.You can never guess right from one second to the next in what drama complaint will happen.You never know what mood they will be in next. Life is never good enough and there is another drama around the corner. It seems they can never get ahead because all they view is life is through neg. Glasses. You know life is not that bad, but after being with them for even five minutes, as they use you to unload all their toxins, you feel so horrible. You hear this huge sucking sound. Its like they suck from your energy to sustain them. You feel depressed, bitter and resentful toward them. I am not talking about people in the ministry. I am talking about the same people who want to spew their crap all over you every time you are in their presence.Because no matter how many amazing things you do for them, they will always view you through critical glasses. Your never enough. You could be a blessing in 10 amazing ways to them but because you do not meet their expectations of demands, all those things do not matter. It's like nothing pleases them. Your needs are so less important compared to what they need. It's always about what they need and what you are suppose to do for them. Your life can be void of happiness looking around at your own needs and hardly any of them are not met. If and when they do something good for you they want recognized, applauded and bowed down to. Therefore its really about them even it's suppose to be you.  But you find yourself always catering to please an endless empty hole in someone you know you can't fix.
It is a Very sad and lonely place to be. Toxic people are no fun to be around majority of the time. The Only time they are fun to be around is when they give themselves permission to relax or its when they have been worshipped in some way. You hear this song in the back of your mind" It's all about you.oooo"...
Not only ministry can be like this but family members, friends and coworkers.

How do you help yourself?(refer to top)
Pray wisdom. Ask God to show you where to spend your most valuable time. Set limits with them. You can not please every one. By the way if your in the Ministry.....fill your tank up so you have something to give to others.